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Girls Only
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Focus
Any woman who is single, dating or married who find herself or someone she loves wrestling with sexual purity issues.
Objective
To create an open and loving place where women can find encouragement and helpful tools to lessen the temptations in their lives as they grow in the likeness of Christ.
The Leaders
Jen Craft, Kim Newman and Suzanne Price
Metting time and place:
Girls Only isn't currently meeting. Please contact one of the leaders if you need support or more information.
So what's this Girls Only group any way?
Well, actually Girls Only just got a make-over. After nine months of meeting as a separate small/mid-size group the Girls Only ministry has decided to change its format.
The ministry’s main objective is still “to create an open and loving place where women can find encouragement and helpful tools to lessen the temptations in their lives as they grow in the likeness of Christ.”
We are still a group of women earnestly seeking to maintain purity throughout our daily lives and supporting our loved ones who struggle with sexual purity, as we're being strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit and application of God’s Word. We still place our hope and faith solely on the transforming power of God, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. We still hold firm to the teachings of God's Word.
However, instead of being a support group for women who find themselves or someone they love wrestling with sexual purity issues, Girls Only is shifting its format to be a resource for mid-size and life groups that already exist. As the leaders of Girls Only, we have come to realize more and more that sexual purity in one’s life and one’s marriage is a very private issue… Although it’s a topic that women seem to want to talk about, we’ve learned that women are hesitant to join a support group and build relationships primarily around the subject of sexuality.
Since the inception of Girls Only, we have prayed for God to guide our decisions and the direction of the ministry. In trying to remain sensitive to His leading and the organic nature of groups at Riverview, we have chosen not to force the formation of yet another group. Instead, we’ve decided to try to support the small communities that already exist within Riverview.
We would like to offer our time and resources to visit your ministry or life group to discuss the issues surrounding sexual purity. It is our prayer that we could help provide information and facilitate beginning conversations about sexual purity within groups that have already formed trusting relationships.
We invite you to contact us if you are interested in learning more about how Girls Only may be a beneficial resource for your ministry or life group. If you are a co-ed group, let us know that, too, so we can bring along a few of our friends from Fight Club. Or, if you’ve already got a few gals together who are interested in starting a life group with sexual purity as a central theme, get a hold of us! We’d be glad to work with you to get things going. Finally, we hope to offer some classes or workshops around the topic of sexual purity in the future… so, stay tuned. And, please let us know if you have other ideas or needs. We know that God wants to work in these secret places of women’s lives… we are here as a tool for Him to use as we’re called.
If you’re a guy, hit up the Fight Club page. Fight Club is an open and honest place for unconditional love and practical support for any man dealing with any type of sexual sin.
Focus
Any woman who is single, dating or married who find herself or someone she loves wrestling with sexual purity issues.
Objective
To create an open and loving place where women can find encouragement and helpful tools to lessen the temptations in their lives as they grow in the likeness of Christ.
The Leaders
Jen Craft, Kim Newman and Suzanne Price
Metting time and place:
Girls Only isn't currently meeting. Please contact one of the leaders if you need support or more information.
So what's this Girls Only group any way?
Well, actually Girls Only just got a make-over. After nine months of meeting as a separate small/mid-size group the Girls Only ministry has decided to change its format.
The ministry’s main objective is still “to create an open and loving place where women can find encouragement and helpful tools to lessen the temptations in their lives as they grow in the likeness of Christ.”
We are still a group of women earnestly seeking to maintain purity throughout our daily lives and supporting our loved ones who struggle with sexual purity, as we're being strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit and application of God’s Word. We still place our hope and faith solely on the transforming power of God, His son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. We still hold firm to the teachings of God's Word.
However, instead of being a support group for women who find themselves or someone they love wrestling with sexual purity issues, Girls Only is shifting its format to be a resource for mid-size and life groups that already exist. As the leaders of Girls Only, we have come to realize more and more that sexual purity in one’s life and one’s marriage is a very private issue… Although it’s a topic that women seem to want to talk about, we’ve learned that women are hesitant to join a support group and build relationships primarily around the subject of sexuality.
Since the inception of Girls Only, we have prayed for God to guide our decisions and the direction of the ministry. In trying to remain sensitive to His leading and the organic nature of groups at Riverview, we have chosen not to force the formation of yet another group. Instead, we’ve decided to try to support the small communities that already exist within Riverview.
We would like to offer our time and resources to visit your ministry or life group to discuss the issues surrounding sexual purity. It is our prayer that we could help provide information and facilitate beginning conversations about sexual purity within groups that have already formed trusting relationships.
We invite you to contact us if you are interested in learning more about how Girls Only may be a beneficial resource for your ministry or life group. If you are a co-ed group, let us know that, too, so we can bring along a few of our friends from Fight Club. Or, if you’ve already got a few gals together who are interested in starting a life group with sexual purity as a central theme, get a hold of us! We’d be glad to work with you to get things going. Finally, we hope to offer some classes or workshops around the topic of sexual purity in the future… so, stay tuned. And, please let us know if you have other ideas or needs. We know that God wants to work in these secret places of women’s lives… we are here as a tool for Him to use as we’re called.
If you’re a guy, hit up the Fight Club page. Fight Club is an open and honest place for unconditional love and practical support for any man dealing with any type of sexual sin.
On-line Resources
- XXX church ~ help for spouses
- Pure Life Ministries ~ help for women whose husbands have fallen into sexual sin. Packed full of information for all sexual sin
- Pure On-line ~ equipping wives to help their husbands deal with sexual addictions
Blogs, Prayer walls and Message boards
- Onep3 ~ a blog of 2 women facing things in their marriages they never thought they would, adultery, abuse, and abandonment, who ask the question….What does God want of us?
On-Line Bible Studies and Fellowship Programs
Books
Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, And Our Families
by Pamela Paul
For this pornograph, Paul interviewed more than 100 people—80 of them young, straight men. Some findings are predictable: porn allows men "to enjoy the fantasy of endless variety," but can distract men from their partners, detract from their sexual skills and harm relationships. More valuably, Paul finds women caught under new forms of social pressure—from men and women—not to disdain porn: to do so, now, is (among other things) to be seen as limiting women's sexual self-expression. Paul also sees porn seeping ever sooner into preteen life and sensibly observes that there's no reason for porn to be limitless on the Net when it's regulated elsewhere.
Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin
by Stephen Arterburn and Fred & Brenda Stoeker
When husbands are ensnared by sexual sin, wives suffer most. Here, Fred and Brenda Stoeker tell how they survived sin and betrayal---and rebuilt a solid, intimate, and joyful marriage. Learn how trust can be restored if a husband chooses purity and his wife chooses mercy. An accompanying workbook is available.
When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart: Letters to Hurting Wives
by Kathy Gallagher
Behind every husband enslaved to sexual sin, there is a woman reaping the horrible side effects of his selfcentered lifestyle. What can be more devastating for a wife than to discover her husband has a secret obsession with pornography and other women? Yet, this is what countless Christian wives face every day. Kathy Gallagher has been there; she understands the pain of rejection, the feelings of hopelessness and the questions that plague a hurting wife. In this collection of letters, Kathy imparts heartfelt encouragement by providing the practical, biblical answers that helped her find healing in the midst of her most trying storm. The 30day journal offers wives a place to prayerfully reflect and meditate upon Kathys letters. When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart testifies that there is hope for the most dejected of souls and the bleakest of marriages.
by Shaunti Feldhahn
From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man’s rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women’s eyes to what the men in their life—boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons—are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to “freak out” the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.
by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn
Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please—as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.
Todays Christian Woman store Men and Porn ~ great little on-line 40 page book
Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment
by Shannon Ethridge (there's also the mens version Every Man's Battle)
When does an affair begin? Not with the first forbidden touch…but with the first forbidden thought. Unexpectedly, you find yourself enjoying a powerful emotional bond with another man. You feel like you matter to someone again. And the door you thought was locked so firmly–the door to sexual infidelity–is suddenly ajar.
The only way women can survive the intense struggle for sexual integrity is by guarding not just your body, but your mind and heart as well. Every Woman’s Battle can help you learn to do that. Using real-life stories and examples from her own struggle, Shannon Ethridge helps women like you–whether married, engaged, or planning to marry someday.
No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Shame
by Marnie Ferree
No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Shame bravely addresses the taboo subject of female sexual addiction with frankness, compassion, and vulnerability. Readers will be surprised at the definition of this problem and the number of women who struggle with it. This definitive work combines the best clinical knowledge with the truth of biblical principles. No Stones points the way to redemption.
An Affair of the Mind
by Laurie Hall
This is the story of one woman's struggle to protect herself and her children from the devastating effects of pornography. Laurie Hall relives the nightmare that nearly destroyed her family, warning others of porn's seductive, addictive nature.
I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography
by Clay & Renee Crosse
Clay Crosse was a soaring success in Christian music, but his secret sin threatened everything... He was addicted to pornography. No one knew he had a problem-not even Clay-until the day God took away his singing voice. What followed was the story of the power of grace and forgiveness. Clay and Renee tell their story with the prayer that it will help countless other marriages-perhaps even yours.
Boundaries
by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
In order to call themselves good Christians, many people have drawn overly flexible boundaries (unwilling to say no, always accommodating others' needs) or overly rigid boundaries (to the point of being righteous and judgmental). Psychologists and inspirational speakers Cloud and Townsend show readers how to set reasonable boundaries in order to follow the true path of Christianity. This book has become immensely popular, most likely because it makes personal boundaries easier to define and is filled with spiritual purpose. Some cautions: the format can be overly self-helpish for such a complex discussion and the authors at one point imply that judicious spankings may be an acceptable form of setting boundaries with children. However, many Christians will probably find themselves grateful for this biblical context of boundaries.
Boundaries in Marriage
by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Learn when to say yes and when to say no--to your spouse and to others--to make the most of your marriage Only when a husband and wife know and respect each other’s needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another. Boundaries are the “property lines” that define and protect husbands and wives as individuals. Once they are in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the award-winning best-seller Boundaries, show couples how to apply the 10 laws of boundaries that can make a real difference in relationships. They help husbands and wives understand the friction points or serious hurts and betrayals in their marriage—and move beyond them to the mutual care, respect, affirmation, and intimacy they both long for. Boundaries in Marriage helps couples:
- Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of their spouse
- Establish values that form a godly structure and architecture for their marriage
- Protect their marriage from different kinds of “intruders”
- Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries—or work with one who doesn’t
When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships
by Eric and Leslie Ludy
Bestselling authors Eric and Leslie Ludy challenge singles to take a fresh approach to relationships in a culture where love has been replaced by cheap sensual passion. When God Writes Your Love Story shows that God's way to true love brings fulfillment and romance in its purest, richest, and most satisfying form. This new edition includes an extra chapter from Leslie Ludy about the surprises of life after marriage!
Lay the foundation now—whether you’ve met your future spouse or not—for a lifelong romance. Bestselling authors Eric and Leslie Ludy invite you to discover how beautiful your love story can be when the Author of romance scripts every detail.
Same Gender Attraction
Corduroy Stone (Lansing)
To reach out to individuals with the hope of being made new in Christ; both those who personally experience same gender sexual and emotional attractions and those who know of family members or friends who do.
Mike Jones
305 S. Cedar St., Ste. #205, Lansing, MI 48910
517-371-1353
cstone@msu.edu
Porn Awareness
Free Software Filters
Web Filter Reviews
Recommended Local Counselors
- Wellspring Counseling Services
5030 Northwind Drive #108
East Lansing, MI 48823
Individual - Marital – Pre-Marital
Family – Child & Adolescent – Play Therapy
336-4335
- Partners Psychological Services
1020 Long Blvd. Suite 5
Lansing, MI 48911
699-1628
Lee Haubert, MA-LPC
Judy Herriff, MA-LLP
Lisbeth Byerley, MA-LPC-TLLP
Laurie Snyman, MSW-CSW-ACSW
Shelly Wiggins
- Reflections Counseling, P.L.C.
836 Centennial Way, Suite 140
Lansing, MI 48917
321-4775
Karen Wallace, LMSW
Linda Lunsted, LMSW
Lannie Slabaugh, LLMSW
- Barbara Strong MS RD
NutrResources@hotmail.com
347-9982
Registered dietician specializing in eating disorders, sports nutrition, wellness & chronic diseases
If you know of another resource that may be useful, please feel free to contact Kim Newman.
Clubhouse Safety Guidelines
Adapted from the L.I.F.E. Group Safety Guidelines (www.freedomeveryday.org)
It is absolutely essential that every Girls Only meeting be safe. Safety produces the best environment for honesty and fellowship. All group members are responsible for observing these Clubhouse Safety Guidelines, and if the Guidelines are violated, group members will have the right to confront each other in love. If an individual will not observe the Guidelines consistently and refuses to abide by them after being confronted, that individual will be asked to leave the meeting, for the sake of the other group members.
- It is safe to be honest. We expect all members to tell the truth.
- It is safe to have feelings. All feelings are acceptable to God and to us.
- We give each other feedback as long as it only reflects our own experience, strength, and hope. Therefore, we begin our feedback with “I,” and not “you.” We try not to give advice.
- We do not preach. We may share messages of spiritual strength, hope, and encouragement, but we avoid comments that include words like, “should,” “always,” and “never.” We respect where others are on their spiritual journey and allow God to meet them in His way and time.
- We do not shame ourselves or others. We do not put down ourselves or anyone else – including our spouses. Instead, we own our anger and express it appropriately, avoiding name calling and using, “I feel…about…because…” statements.
- We may talk about how our spouse’s behaviors have affected us, but we focus on our own healing and transformation. In all cases, we do not blame others for our choices and/or sinful behaviors. We take responsibility for our actions.
- We abide by the principle of group confidentiality. We do not reveal the identity of other group members or what is shared in group, even to our spouses. There is only one exception to this rule. If anyone discloses feelings or actions that indicate she is a possible danger to herself or to others, including minor children, we will take all necessary action outside of Girls Only to report that danger and to ensure others’ safety.
What's the mission of Girls Only:
To create an open and loving place where women can find encouragement and helpful tools to lessen the temptations in their lives as they grow in the likeness of Christ.
How is the group structured?
We plan on meeting as a large group 1 time per month to have relevant biblical teachings, discuss tools, share stories and empower each other to live out our lives as Christ followers.
In addition we will be encouraging the formation of small groups so women can work together in intimate, small circles to build relationships and support one another as you apply the teachings in your lives. These small groups will be a supplement to the larger group.
Who are welcome to join this group?
ANY woman who is:
- Single
- Dating
- Engaged
- Married
- Divorced
- 18-whatever
What topics will you be discussing?
We will be discussing the struggles of women who have:
- porn issues
- same gender attraction
- lust
- adultery
- impure thoughts
- or another sexual purity issues
These struggles may either be directly affecting a women or they may be dealing with the aftershock of their partner’s struggle.
Is this is an open group?
YES! You may come and go as you please and feel free to invite anyone.
How do you plan on creating an open and loving place for women to feel safe:
Most importantly, this group is confidential. All that is said in the clubhouse, stays in the clubhouse.
When you walk through these doors, woman must come:
- willing to share
- willing to listen
- willing to change
- willing to help
- willing to not judge others or your partner
Messages, Group Questions and Tools
2008
January ~ What is Girls Only? Introductions
February ~ What's Wrong with Me?
March ~ Let's get to know one anther a bit better. No message was given.
April ~ An open discussion night with one key question.
May ~ What is Purity? What does it mean to me?
June ~ Forgiveness
July ~ Bitterness
August ~ Control
September ~ Lies vs Truth
